RECONCILE

RECONCILE provides Coaching and Mediation. These intervention services are described in detail in RECONCILE’s Intervention Procedures in the Resources section below.

When only one spouse is willing to participate, RECONCILE provides Coaching. In Coaching, RECONCILE helps the participating spouse take steps to reconcile conflicts and resolve disputes with their spouse on their own. RECONCILE also helps the participating spouse encourage their spouse to join so that the couple can pursue reconciliation and resolution together in Mediation. Coaching is provided through telephone and video conferences.

When both spouses are willing to participate, RECONCILE provides Mediation. In Mediation, RECONCILE Peace Advocates guide and assist couples to resolve their conflict, reconcile their relationship, and pursue a plan to heal and rebuild their marriage. The goal of Mediation is to help couples, with the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, apply biblical truth in their marriage and make commitments to each other that honor and please the Lord. Understandings reached, promises made, and plans agreed upon are memorialized in a written Memorandum of Understanding, which provides the couple with a roadmap and reminders for their marriage in the future. Mediation is provided through individual and joint telephone and video conferences and in-person meetings.

RECONCILE services are provided to husbands and wives who are members or regular attenders of Alliance Bible Fellowship and are experiencing severe distress and conflicts in their marriage. Spouses and couples are referred to RECONCILE by an Alliance pastor.

RECONCILE serves spouses who are referred by one of our pastors. Spouses who contact a pastor for help will be provided a RECONCILE Referral Request form to complete and return to the pastor. Spouses may also complete and submit a Referral Request to a pastor by clicking the blue button above. If the pastor determines that RECONCILE is the right ministry to help, the Referral Request will be forwarded to the RECONCILE Director. The director will make contact by phone to obtain more information, answer questions, and discuss the next steps.

Coaching and Mediation are provided by Peace Advocates. Peace Advocates are Alliance members who have completed extensive biblically based training designed to equip them to help conflicted spouses and couples understand God’s plan and provision for peace and His path to reconciliation and resolution of their conflicts and disputes. They serve as volunteers because they love Jesus and desire to assist and encourage married couples experiencing difficult times. All Peace Advocates commit to the Code of Ethics in the Resources section below.

RECONCILE does not provide marriage counseling or marriage mentoring. While Peace Advocates provide guidance and direction during Coaching and Mediation, their counsel is based on biblical principles and focuses on the attitudes or actions the spouses should thoughtfully examine and prayerfully consider concerning their conflicts and disputes. While a commitment to more comprehensive professional counseling or marriage mentoring may be part of the spouses’ final understanding, Peace Advocates are not marriage counselors or mentors. The role of the Peace Advocate is to help couples address their conflicts and disputes in a biblically faithful manner.

Intervention services provided through RECONCILE are intended to address relational conflicts and minor disputes. RECONCILE does not assist spouses with the resolution of legal issues such as divorce, spousal support, child custody, child support, or property division and distribution. If help with these types of legal issues is needed, RECONCILE will refer the couple to others who are positioned to assist them with these matters.

Peace Advocates cannot and do not provide legal advice. Ethical rules prohibit a Peace Advocate from giving legal advice or preparing legally binding documents. This is true even if a Peace Advocate happens to be an attorney. Attorneys are not permitted to participate in RECONCILE. If either spouse feels they need legal advice, they must seek it from an independent attorney outside the RECONCILE process.

Coaching and Mediation services are provided without charge. Spouses and couples are expected to exercise their best efforts to prepare for and constructively engage in meaningful and productive meetings and to promptly complete all homework assigned by their Peace Advocate.

It is not possible to provide a specific timeframe for every intervention. Each case and each couple are unique. Spouses respond differently, and scheduling can prove challenging. The purpose of every intervention, however, is to help the conflicted spouses break the destructive cycle of conflict, reach reconciliation through confession and forgiveness, and agree upon a plan to promote further healing and rebuild their marriage. Because of the focused nature of RECONCILE interventions, they are relatively short-term engagements, with most being completed within six months after the Peace Advocate is assigned.